Alright lets get serious, some girls like crude jokesbut unfortunatly some of us dont know a lot of them.So post them here and we can all raise our chance of getting laid, or more slaps in the face!Here is one i know from long long ago...3 civil war verteran cam back from the war all with their cocks blown off, so the all headed into the prostetic shop.The store owner said he had good news for them, the last 3 strap-ons was still in stock.The first veteran got a wooden strap-on.Second one got a steel strap-on.and unfortunately the third got a 10 foot long one.As the next day came all of them went back the the shop to complainthe first one said "god dang it, my wooden one gave me lady splinters in er corn hole." and he returned the wooden dick.the second one said "this er keep gettin' rusty god dang it" and he returned the iron penis.when the third came in the clerk just said instinctively, "so ya wanna return that shaft of ye?"and the 3rd man said "no i came to thank you, see that woman over there?" *air humping motion"got here" :D ENDahhh yes i am bored.I've got one..Two cops were talking in the shower after work."Hey, man. How's the sex with your wife?""It's alright..""I've got a nice trick to 'spice' it up a little. You wanna hear?""Yeah sure. What is it?""First, you hide your gun somewhere really close, so you can reach it when you have sex.""Okay..""Then, when you have sex, and you're about to blow, you fire a round. She'll tighten up and you'll feel great!""I'll try it, sure."A month later, the second cop came back to work."Hey, man! Where the hell have you been?""In the hospital.""Really? Why's that?""I tried that trick you told me about.""Yeah? How did it work?""Not very well at all.""Really? How so?""Well, see, I did all you told me to do. I hid the gun, and fired it when I was about to blow..""So what went wrong?""She bit my dick off and shat me in the face."Tranlated directly from swedish.ill be working on one.. i know i have some up in my noggin...okay i heard this from my cousin:3 guys were sleeping in a row. then the man on the right and the man on the left wake up suddenly. they both told each other they had one of the best dreams. right man: woah in my dream i had the best handjobleft man: woah same hereman in the middle wakes upmiddle man: i had the funnest dream. i went skiing!A young, very innocent prist, right out of the seminary, gets his first assignment in a far off town. As soon as he gets off the train a prostitute says to him "hey father, blowjob 20$". He walks on and another pro tells him "blowjob 20$". When he gets to the church he asks a nun, "whats a blowjob"? The sister says "20$, same as in town".a priest and a rabbi met on a train one day. after riding in silence for a little while, the priest decided to break the ice. he turned to the rabbi and said, 멼 see that you, like myself, are a man of the cloth? the rabbi nodded in acknowledgement. 멲nd like myself, you are travelling and are now far away from the normal duties and responsibilities of your office.? again the rabbi nodded. 멼 was wondering, as we share a common bond but are unlikely to see each other again, i was wondering if you could answer a somewhat personal question about you and your religion.? the rabbi shrugged noncommittally. the priest continued. 멼t is my understanding that in your religion, it is considered a sin to eat pork, something i do with regularity. i was wondering, weren뭪 you ever curious?did you ever succumb to temptation?? the rabbi thought for a moment, then responded, 몁ormally, i do not like to speak of such things. but as you say, we share a common bond and are unlikely to see each other again. so i will tell you that when i was a young man, curiosity once got the better of me. i put on regular clothes, and took a bus to another town. and there, in a restaurant, i ate a plate of roast pork. but i never did again because, after thinking about it, it was not so good as to go against the tenets of my faith.?br />the priest pondered this in silence for a moment when suddenly the rabbi said, 멼 too was wondering if i might ask a somewhat personal question of you and your religion? well, turnabout is fair play and so the priest nodded. the rabbi continued, 멼t is my understanding that in your religion, it is considered a sin for a priest to marry or partake in the pleasures of the flesh, something my wife and i do with regularity. i was wondering, weren뭪 you ever curious?did you ever succumb to temptation?? the priest thought for a moment, then responded, 멿ike you, i do not usually speak of such things. but as we share a common bond, i will tell you that as a young man, curiosity once got the better of me. i too put on regular clothes and took a bus to another town. and there, in a brothel, i partook in the pleasures of the flesh. but i never did again because, just as you once judged, it was not so good as to go against the tenets of my faith.?br />the rabbi pondered this in silence for a moment, then turned to the priest and said, 몏ell, it's better than pork?a man goes to a doctor and complains that he has a problem with his penis. the doctor says, "all right, take off your pants and let's have a look". the man refuses. the doc says, "i can't help you if i can't see the problem". the man says. "no, you'll laugh". the doctor assures him that he is a professional and sees things like this all the time. the man says, "promise me you won't laugh". the doctor promises and the man finally relents. he takes off his pants and shows the doctor the teeny-tiniest little penis that he's ever seen. in spite of himself, the doctor can't suppress laughter and bellows out a big "HA-HA-HA-HA!!". the man cries out, "see, i told you that you'd laugh... it's been swelled up like this for almost two weeks!".There are 3 gay men walking up to the local funeral home each man is carrying an urn of their dead male lover. They knock on the door and the attendant there opens the door and asks them what do they need.Man 1: I would like you to spread my lovers ashes all over the mountains, as he was an avid hiker and mountain climber.Attendant: Sure Ill be glad to. (takes the urn)(Man 1 walks away)(Man 2 walks up to the door)Man 2: I would like you to spread my lovers ashes across the ocean. He was very much into the wildlife in the sea.Attendant: Sure thing (takes the urn)(Man 2 walks away)(Man 3 walks up and hands both the urn and a bowlful of baked beans)Attendant: Uh....sir what is this bowlful of beans for?(Man 3 blushes slightly saying)I would like you to pour my lovers ashes into that bowlful of beans and stir it up.Attendant: Why is that?Man 3: I want to feel him tear my ass up one more time.im sorry but...i do not really get your joke FlashSwordIrene =.="is it because im too inexperienced to comprehend it ?Two gay males obviously have anal sex right? when one is dead and his ashes are poured into the bowlful of beans and the living male eats it. and the guy saying he wants to feel him tear his ass up one more time. what usually happens when one eats a bowlful of baked beans? ^_-